Im not sure if you guys know this about me, but I have very serious anger issues. I get aggravated TOO easily and I sometimes take it out on the people that have NOTHING to do with the reason I'm mad. Its a sad disease, but I'm trying to work past it and erase that part of me.
Its HARD, though because lately, I've been surrounded by people that want to see me FAIL. Like, seriously want to break me down, chew me up, spit me out, then throw me in acid. I am breaking out constantly. I have so much stress its trying to get out, so to speak. And Its sad really, because THESE PEOPLE ARE ANGERING ME, THEREFORE, OWNING ME.
Ask anyone I'm close too. I am so quick to argue, quick to curse a m********a OUT and even fight, If I have to. And the people this post is about make me want to do just that. I've never met a person that is ONLY for self, doesnt want anyone else to win and at the same time, HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!
"Everybody can tell you how to do it, they never did it..." Jay-Z
The one that HAS and is STILL doing it is the one we'll call "my savior". I know this person is probably sick of talking to me about my frustration, but they want to see me succeed. Im currently in the stage where Im learning to control my anger and attitude, as well as not get defensive (which I didn't realize I did). Its hard, man. Trying to find that medium and "kill with kindness". It kills ME to kill someone with kindness, omg! Its not what Im used to. When someone pisses me off, I enjoy returning the favor.
But, that was the old me. Some people just cant help being who they are. Cant help being Satan's Seeds. And Its my mission in life to master the art of dealing with these type of people. I refuse to waste all my energy being angry at someone who will never learn!
Im a geuinely nice person. I cant play the "search and destroy" game. I fail at it. Im a firm believer in "whats right is right" and "whats wrong is wrong".
What helps me though is when I realize that they will never be anything more than what they are right now. Good things happen to good people and god DOESNT like ugly. What you think it really is, its not. They will never get the respect they think they deserve and that brings a develish smile across my face.
Im not gonna sit there and argue with a fool! If you're going to be great at something, be great. If the pat on the back gets you through the day and gives you affirmation, thats fine with me. I don't need that, because thats what Im supposed to do. Its my job to be great no matter how much praise I get, if I get any at all.
Being humble is an important part in life. No one wants to be the prick that nobody wants to work with....
Lets listen to some music that makes me happy:
(Jermaine has always been greasy lol)
I will not be broken. I a tough girl from Queens. My skin is too thick! Memorize that, beeyotches!
Yeezy~
